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    1. Theme tune (instrumental)  | 
  
Friday night is bath night this is what they say
    We are gonna dig the groove, we've waited all day
    We wear trendy trousers with belts a mile too long
    We are gonna catch the bus into the town
    We are boogie on down... 
    
    Dig that groove ba-a-by
    Dig that groove ba-a-by
    Dig that groove ba-a-a-a-by
    Dig that groove ba-a-by
    Dig that groove ba-a-by
    Dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig
    Digga digga digga dig that groove baby
There they are again covered in old spice
  They think they will get the girls cause
  They smell nice,
  They all call me riff raff
  'Coz i wear a crombie
  I couldn't stand it being just like them
  They all look like puffs not men
See that trendy there she used to be a punk
  Now she's off to the disco to listen to junk
  Her boyfriend was a skinhead
  He used to shout oi! Oi!
  Play that funky music that's what they say now
  Come with me and i'll show you how
You can't guess what life for dougy
  Is like, he wakes up in the street
  No home, no bed, he says he's lucky
  That he can smile and be happy
Dougy, dougy, giro
  Dougy, dougy, giro
People say that he's not worthy
  Of clothes, that shows that they don't care
  But he does not let this get him down
  That is how dougy stays alive
Dougy's inside a bus shelter
  It's raining and a sight to see,
  Dougy smiles he's seen a rainbow
  Every.. Where's bright, and so is he
I was getting dressed late one night
  Along came a spider and i got a fright
  Oh i could not squash it flat
  No matter how i tried
  And when it looked me in the eye
  I ran away to hide
I put on me doctor martin shoes
  A battle with the spider that i wasn't gonna loose
  A kick from the left a kick from the right
  I was on the floor but i was alright
  It was gonna be a long long night
Spiders in the dressing room
  Spiders everywhere
  Spider in the dressing room beware
  Spiders in the dressing room
  Spiders everywhere
  Spider in the dressing room beware
Things were getting hot and i had to take a chance
  The spider got impatient
  Started crawling up me pants
  I shook it off me leg thump it hit the ground
  Everything was silent so i didn't make a sound
  I crossed the room as happy as can be
  I had killed the spider now it couldn't bother me
  But with me arm on the light
  He was there ready for a fight
  It was gonna be a long long night
It was getting late and the spider wasn't dead
  An audience had gathered round
  And i was going red
  I put a jam jar on the floor
  The spider crawled inside it
  I screwed the lid back on the top
  And threw the jar outside
  At a party late that night
  Everything was bright and gay
  We played all our pop records and danced the night away
  Early in the morning came a knocking at the door
  I opened it slowly guess what i saw
  It was gonna be a long long night
Victory if glenda she, had a baby, oooeee
Things were looking gloomy and glenda she was sad
  Kevin had been out with carol sands
  But glenda she though surely
  It can't be that bad, if i had a baby
Glenda went round to the doctors the next day
  You can't have a baby, that's what he said
  Glenda did not give up she's got this book to read
  On how to have a test tube baby
Glenda's dad had just died and she was unhappy
  If only she could have a baby
  So to the disapproval of kevin and his mam
  She signed up for a baby
All our mates that we once knew said they were happy
  Always shouting in the street, just like you and me
  Always finding laughter, fun and games to play
  They of course have to agree
  Suddenly they were swept off their feet and gone
  They don't know what hit them
  Just like the rest, the girlfriends got the best
  And so the story just goes on
They all get washed for them, even have a bath
  But they are now being led, up the garden path
I was sitting in the sun reading the days press
  A boy that i once knew was in, i've never seen such a mess
  Smiling with a moustache, a suit, a shirt and tie
  He had just been wed today
  I could not help but laugh, what's got into him?
  He looks about forty
  He's been such a nit, now he's in for it
  And soon you'll hear him say
I was lying on the beach licking cool ice cream
  A man, a wife and a pram went by, it was like a dream
  He was climbing apple trees just a moon ago
  The kind of bloke you think, won't grow
  His face is like a fiddle now, long and sad and blue
  He still says he's happy
  He must have gone mad, cos he's not the lad
  That i once used to know
To bombay a travelling circus came, they brought an
  Intelligent elephant and nellie was her name
  One dark night she slipped her iron chain
  And off she ran to hindustan
  And was never seen again
  Oooooooooooo
Nellie the elephant pack her trunk
  And said goodbye to the circus
  Off she went with a trumpety trump
  Trump trump trump
  Now nellie the elephant packed her trunk
  And trundled off to the jungle
  Off she went with a trumpety trump
  Trump trump trump
The head of the herd was calling far far away
  They met one night in the silver light
  On the road to mandalay
Night by night she danced to the circus band
  When nellie was leading the big parade
  She looked so proud and grand
  No more tricks for nellie to perform
  They taught her how to take a bow
  And she took the crowd by storm
  Oooooooooooo
 There was davey, there was davey
  There was davey, happy davey
  His girlfriend's gone, his girlfriend's gone away, ay ay ay ay
  All he wants is a room with the stars looking down across davey
  The sun and the moon and the sky high are just fine for poor davey
  There's nothing left, there's nothing left
  There's nothing left to see for davey
  He wants to be, he wants to be
  He wants to be alone
  Why did she love him so? Why did she have to go?
  Poor davey doesn't know, now davey's all alone
  She did upset, she did upset
  She did upset davey, davey, davey
  He won't forget, he won't forget, not davey
Things do go wrong, it's not long since i've been blue
  But i know the remedy, i can see just what to do
Don't be a coward, don't be yellow
  It always pays to be mellow
  Stay cool, stay free and then you will see
  It's best to stay mellow
I was upset and in debt with no money
  But i did not stay sad, it's not that bad, so remember
Oh if you are down in the town with no bus fare
  Start walking and smile, in a while you'll be back home
She was at a party i was stuck at home
  I was not invited so she went on her own
  I will not be long now this is what she said
  I'm stood waiting for her i must be off my head
Queen alexandra road is where she said she'd be
  But was she there to meet me? No chance
  I was going to land her a thump when i see her you see
  She's forgotten about me
It was well past midnight she still dug the groove
  I just stood there freezing i couldn't even move
  She will soon get sick now want to go back home
  There was no sign of her i should have known
Oh rigamortis set in, i was a block of ice
  I'd even missed the late film starring vincent price
  Two o'clock she turned up, have you been waiting long?
  She looked into my eyes sweetly, i said not that long
It's not the first time somebody has had the flu
  Remember when you had toothache
  A hot lemsip will help the sneezing so
  You will have to stay happy
Remember
  Worse things happen at sea
  Keep dreaming of better days
  Keep dreaming of better days
I know its crap when there's something in your eye
  Think yourself lucky you've not got a bad back
  It's pretty sore when you have a mouth ulcer
  But you have got to stay happy
I know it's sad when your face is acne
  But don't be put off by some yellow spots
  So you got a toenail that his growing in
  You have got to stay happy
Well it's one for the money
  Two for the show
  Three to get ready now go cat go
  But don't you step on my blue suede shoes
  You can do anything
  But keep off my blue suede shoes
Oh! I woke up with a backache
  Backache! Backache!
  I thought i ought to go to the first aid tin
  Where i found something for my backache
  Backache! Backache!
  I rubbed in some cream and started to scream! Oh no
Chorus:
  Firey jack firey jack- it's red hot on your back
  Firey jack firey jack- believe me it does knack
  Firey jack firey jack- it's red hot on your back
  Firey jack
Now i had a back ache on me backache
  Backache backache!
  I jumped into the bath full of cold water
  The firey jack had made me backache
  Backache backache
  I'm worse than before i can't take anymore
  Oh no
Chorus
So if you do get a backache
  Backache backache!
  And you feel you have to reach for the first aid tin
  Think! Life is not that bad with a backache
  If you see a tin with firey jack in
  Stay away
It’s red hot... On your back... On your back